Oh here's to the GB, whom many people mock,
Here's to Tom Grassia, and here's to Fred the Rock.
Oh here's to flames on -ops, which fill us all with cheer,
Here's to the Guild boys, and here's to another beer!
    Tom Grassia
    Hero of the Guild, 47th Class

Fred The Rock

...is the mascot of the HTML Writers guild. His raison d'etre is to help convince oneself that the party with which one is suffering a difficult discourse is not really as stupid as they seem to be. Slight readjustment of one's brain cells often helps see another's point of view.

Operation

1. Grasp firmly by the handle side, it's a bit narrower than the working surface.
2. Hold up in the air a fair distance from your head.
3. Accelerate Fred at a pretty good rate towards your head.
4. When Fred meets your head, do not stop. Proper follow through is important for best results.
5. Repeat as required to achieve desired attitude adjustment.

History

Fred was born at the top of a mountain in the southwestern corner of New Hampshire, USA, in the town of Grafton,, at a place now know as Ruggles Mine. I say 'born' because this is the first place he could be seen by man, but his origins were deep within the earth. Ruggles Mine is an amazing collection of rocks and minerals. It really is located at the very top of a mountain. It was an active mine for many years and is now open to the public. Drive in and for the price of admission you can haul away whatever you can carry out to your pickup truck.

Fred is composed, as far as I can tell, mostly pegmatite with some quartz. The black surfaces are muscovite, a black mica, and these are his best features in addition to the real reason he is so useful to the HWG. There is also some white mica scattered about, and I think some garnet, copper and iron. Fred is about 9" long, 5" high and wide, and weighs in at about 7 pounds.

Cute Pics (G-rated, this is a family channel :)

Here is Fred's 'working surface'. It was at one time a large flat sheet of muscovite, but after millenia beneath the earth and years of use in the service of the HWG this surface has become curved, dented, wrinkled and cracked. It is exactly this curved shape that makes him so useful. It very closely matches the curve of many heads, and imparts kinetic coersion on the user with maximum effectiveness at minimum discomfort.

This is Fred's 'handle'. It is narrower and fits the hand nicely. It is covered with muscovite same as the working surface offering a smooth comfortable grip. This image gives a better view of the pegmatite that makes up most of Fred's volume.

Disclaimer

I swear I have no idea what that vaguely human looking oddity is in the lower left corner of that image. Rumor has it that Fred's previous subsurface owners have discovered his presence here and have returned to reclaim him.

I need Fred now!

Fred is passed around as needed. At the 'ofishal' Fred Page a form is available where you may request him. A mailing list is also available and you will be notified as his location varies.

Some interesting links related to Ruggles Mine.

Ruggles Mine
Radioactive minerals
Fluorescent minerals
General info
General info